Best Timeline
by lyviel
Summary: Ben was alive. That should have been a good thing, but Klaus couldn't help but worry that it meant the end of their friendship. All his other siblings abandoned him after all, it only made sense for Ben to do the same now that he actually had a choice. Meanwhile, Ben himself can't help but wonder if he was better off before. He is host to a monster, after all.


It wasn't strange, seeing Ben just standing there in front of him. Klaus could always see Ben after all, but that's not what this was. Ben was flesh and blood now, looking down at himself like he'd never seen his body before, which he supposed was partly true, it had been over a decade since his death. They were manipulating the timeline to stop the apocalypse, so why not tweak it a bit more to save a few lives? Best Timeline, and all that. So of course their brother had been at the top of the list.

And Klaus was overjoyed that they'd managed to prevent Ben's death, of course he was. He'd always wanted this for his brother. But a quiet dark part of him that he hated more than anything whispered that he was sad too, because now he was truly alone.

His smile felt too brittle as he watched his siblings cheer and hug Ben, back from the dead, and he of course joined in, promising himself that he'd never let anyone know. This wasn't about him, this was about Ben and he deserved happiness more than anyone.

"How do you feel?" Vanya asked.

"Too much," Ben said with a shaky laugh, still looking at himself in wonder, gripping his arm tightly as if he might fly apart.

"All right, all right," Klaus said, clapping his hands to get everyone's attention. He regretted it when Ben flinched. He knew what it was like, the sensory hell that could overwhelm you, drown you. He continued at a more normal volume. "Let's give him some space, yeah?"

Who would have thought Klaus out of all of them would be the voice of reason? It was honestly a little odd, having them actually react with something other than contempt to an order of his, but this was life and death and he was the only other one who had any experience with it.

"Are you hungry?" Mom asked, because that was how she showed her love. Klaus wondered what she was feeling, to be honest. Was it dulled as she struggled against the programming to be herself, or did it hurt just as much as it did for the rest of them, feeling so much?

"Yeah, actually," Ben said with a sudden wide smile. "Fuck, it's been ten years. I think I'm starving."

"Great, I'll make your favorite. Waffles with bacon?"

"Thanks Mom," Ben said, shooting a grin in Klaus' direction, like they were sharing a secret and Klaus treasured it, doing his best to mirror it. How long until they wouldn't have this shared language and history anymore? He tried to ignore that thought and instead focused on all the times he'd eaten waffles for Ben. Eaten anything really.

Dinner was a loud affair, everyone wanting to talk to Ben, clamoring to be heard over each other. Ben seemed to be taking it in stride though, he always had been so patient. He was the only one who had been able to put up with Klaus, after all. Or maybe he was just so glad to be able to talk to them for a change.

After his death, for the longest time none of them believed he was really there, although Klaus supposed that was his fault. If anyone else had had ghostly abilities, everyone would have believed it and Ben probably would have been much better off, he could have been talking to them all this time instead of only recently on the few occasions he had managed to manifest him.

Klaus was sitting on the counter, legs swinging back and forth, for once staying mostly silent. He'd already hogged more than enough of Ben's time and as selfish as he was, he didn't want to be for this. But then he noticed the way Ben winced when their arguing siblings started to gain in volume, and figured he should intervene.

Klaus knew he could never really be there for Ben the way Ben had been there for him. He'd saved Klaus' life more times than he could count, just his presence a comfort when Klaus felt like everyone had abandoned him. But he had to at least try to return the kindness. He hopped off the counter and headed over to lean against the table beside him.

"You hanging in there?" Klaus asked, dropping a hand on Ben's shoulder.

Ben flinched at the sudden contact, but tried to cover it immediately. No luck, though, Klaus could read him like a book after all this time and he released him, giving him his space, making a note not to do that again.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm good," Ben said quickly. "I think I'm just getting tired. I should probably head to bed."

"Righto," Klaus said with a mock solute.

There was half-hearted grumbling but they let him go. Klaus followed shortly after, waiting for a moment when he could slip away unnoticed. He didn't have to wait long. He poked his head into Ben's room only to find it empty. He tried the bathroom door. It was unlocked.

After being literally tied together for ten years, even longer if you counted how inseparable they were as children, they both had no real concept of boundaries or privacy so he didn't really spare a second thought, he just pushed the door open and walked inside. He found Ben just standing there, staring at his own reflection, looking so tired and grim.

"You are a handsome devil, aren't you?" Klaus joked because he didn't like his expression.

"It's actually super weird seeing myself, you know?" Ben said, mustering up a smile.

"So what do you want to do? Shall I draw you a bath?" Klaus asked, gesturing dramatically.

"No thanks, I never really liked baths as much as you," Ben said with a weak smile, arm absently wrapping around his stomach as if to keep his insides from spilling out onto the floor and Klaus supposed that was partly true when you had a monster living inside you. Ben quickly lowered his arm when he realized what he was doing.

"I'll try not to be offended on behalf of baths everywhere," Klaus said, trying to lighten the mood. "Ah fuck, I just realized, you're gonna have to remember to brush your teeth now. That sucks."

"Toothpaste tastes worse than I remember," Ben joked.

"Come on, bro, give him some space," Diego said, bumping his shoulder into Klaus as he walked past. It wasn't done out of spite, there wasn't even enough strength behind it to do more than jostle. He always had been bad at feelings, Klaus wondered if it was his attempt at friendly touch.

"Right, right, sorry," Klaus said, hands raised in surrender. "I'll let you get to it then. Do you need anything?"

"Nah, go sleep," Ben said, shooting him a grateful smile.

But Klaus couldn't sleep. There were the screaming of ghosts, sure, but also there was the crushing loneliness. He knew Ben deserved to have some alone time, he'd been stuck with Klaus for what must have felt like an eternity. Sure, he could disappear to who knows where when he wanted to get away from him which honestly wasn't as often as Klaus would have if he'd been stuck with himself, but that was beside the point.

Ben had his own life now. He needed sleep, he needed to live and it wasn't fair to selfishly demand all of his time just because Klas was feeling a little lonely. Would Ben even want to spend time with him now? Klaus had already driven all of their living siblings away, none of them could stand him as he constantly self destructed but Ben hadn't had a choice, he had to stick around or be alone forever. Now that he was free, surely he'd make the only reasonable decision and put as much space between the two of them as he could.

Klaus wanted to be different, though. He didn't want to make his siblings miserable anymore. More than anything he wanted to be there for Ben, he didn't want to be selfish or for his family to think he needed everything to be about himself. He didn't want to lose Ben after everything they'd been through. Not that Ben owed him the chance to prove that.

Consumed by his thoughts, Klaus sat with his head hanging over the edge of the bed, hands fiddling restlessly with anything within reach, full of a terrible energy. Being sober was fucking awful. That was a phrase that crosses his mind almost constantly. He told himself it was worth it.

Sure, Ben didn't need him to use his powers anymore, but he still needed to see Dave. And, well, he didn't want to disappoint his siblings again. He didn't want to give Ben one more reason to leave him behind either.

Eyes tightly closed, he flinched as a ghost screamed his name. And then he flinched again at a light tapping at his door. For a terrible moment, he thought maybe he'd accidentally given a desperate ghost physical form and that it was coming for him, but then his door cracked open and Ben stuck his head inside.

"Can I— come in?" He asked hesitantly.

"What's the matter? Missing my stunning presence already?" Klaus joked even though he didn't believe it. Anything to lighten the mood and make his brother feel better about all of this.

"Yeah, it's weird not hearing your annoying voice all the time. It's like background noise at this point, it's just not the same without it." Ben said, because it was easier than saying he didn't want to be alone, or so Klaus imagined. Maybe it was the monsters in his stomach, or the newly being alive thing that made Ben seek him out. Either way, it didn't really matter. If Ben needed something, that was all he needed to know.

"Come in, come in, welcome to my abode," Klaus said, throwing his arms wide. "We aren't as small as we used to be but I'm sure we'll both still fit."

Ben rolled his eyes at his showmanship but did as instructed. The bed was a tight fit, but they didn't mind. They used to share a bed all the time growing up, both of them struggling with nightmares almost constantly. Eventually even Dad had given up trying to catch them whenever one of them snuck into the other's room. It was easier for him to just pretend it wasn't happening. Klaus took his hand and squeezed it, trying for an encouraging smile.

"This is stupid," Ben grumbled, rubbing his forehead with an embarrassed smile.

"Nah, happens to the best of us. You know how I sleep, though. Not my fault if I shove you off."

"Brave of you to assume you could," Ben shot back and for a moment it felt like normal and Klaus could almost, almost believe that nothing had really changed between them.

"Is it Them?" Klaus asked more seriously and they both knew immediately what he was talking about.

They'd had this conversation many times before he died. Klaus had to deal with ghosts screaming at him while Ben had to worry about his own body playing host to monsters even he was afraid of. That was partly why they got along so well. They both hated their abilities. The only difference was Ben couldn't run away from them like Klaus could when he turned to drugs. If he could, maybe he never would have died.

"Yeah," Ben said, looking away. "I'd forgotten what it was like. Obviously They were still there after I died, but I couldn't feel Them like I can when I'm alive. It's not just that though." He paused for a long moment before continuing, voice quiet, still not looking at him. "I- I don't know if I like being alive."

"What, too much responsibility now?" Klaus joked, desperate to make his brother smile. "You'd think there'd be less now you don't have to deal with my sorry ass."

He never had been very good at saying the right thing. Making people laugh though? He could usually handle that. It broke his heart that Ben was struggling but he wouldn't be in this alone at least. Ben chuckled a little at the comment, but he could still see the pain in his eyes.

"There's just so much, all the time," Ben said. "I forgot how loud everything was, how much there was to feel. It hurts sometimes. And I don't just mean the Horror."

"I know," Klaus said, feeling a pang in his chest.

He really did know. He'd spent most of his life, starting at age 13 for christ's sake, trying to numb it all. Not just the ghosts but everything else they'd been put through, the trauma and the abuse. A part of him couldn't help but feel special that Ben would trust him enough to confide this in him. Then again, he was probably the only other one fucked up enough to really get it, this sort of despair, deep down in your core that goes beyond sadness.

"Don't tell the others," Ben said. "I don't want to worry them. I don't want to die again or anything, I just, I don't know. It's a lot."

"I get it," Klaus said. "It's okay. We'll figure it out."

"Thanks," Ben said, offering up a weak smile. There was unfortunately little Klaus could do to actually help, but then he didn't think Ben was expecting that. Hopefully this would be enough for now, knowing he wasn't alone. Still, the atmosphere was getting a bit heavy so Ben changed the subject. "What about you? How's being sober going?"

"Oh, fantastic," Klaus said. "So great. Never better."

"And, as usual, you are a terrible liar," Ben said.

"Shut up, I'm a great liar," Klaus said, taking his pillow and hitting Ben with it.

"Oh you did not just do that," Ben said, grinning as he grabbed his own pillow, and just like that the tension was gone. "Finally I can kick your ass."

It was nice to have Ben here and alive again.

* * *

Klaus was not doing okay. He rarely was, but today he was particularly bad. He sat in the corner of his room, hands over his ears as if that could help block out the ghosts. He couldn't. He might have been rocking back and forth but he wasn't sure. There was only the screaming. Every time a ghost reached out to him, he flinched, afraid that maybe this time they'd be able to grab him and then there would be no escape.

He could ask any of his siblings for help. Not that he knew how they could help, Klaus was still learning how to cope and had been having very little success. Then again, even if he did ask, would they even believe him? They rarely did, brushing it off as him just trying to be the center of attention. Annoying Klaus, always too loud and too much.

And sure, sometimes that was true, most of the time growing up especially. They all already had too much to deal with, he'd rather joke around than actually talk about the shit they went through. But even then, more often than not, he was trying to drown out the ghosts, to be heard above them. Being dismissed and ignored just made him feel worse.

Ben would believe him. He always knew what to do, what to say. Especially since he'd gone sober, Ben was probably the only reason he'd made it this far. But he didn't want to go to him now. Ben had his own life, his own concerns. What time was it even? He could be asleep. Klaus couldn't constantly harass him with this. He'd driven all of his siblings away, he couldn't risk doing the same to Ben.

Klaus had spent the last few days slowly withdrawing from his siblings as he felt himself growing worse. He could deal with this himself, he just had to wait it out. And this way he wouldn't risk losing any of them again. Maybe some music would help drown them out. Music always helped.

The door burst open and Klaus toppled over in his surprise. He tried to look casual, reclining on some pillows hoping he didn't look too tense. It was Ben and Klaus mustered up a smile for him. That was a habit they should both probably work on breaking, otherwise it could become a problem. It would be harder to keep his problems to himself if Ben could just barge in at any moment.

"Hey," Ben said, dropping to sit on a pillow beside him. "Diego and Five are planning to do some sparring, which sounds like a recipe for disaster. You should come down and watch with me, I'm making popcorn."

"Hey, yeah, that does sound amazing. Why don't you go ahead and I'll follow in a sec," Klaus said.

Ben started getting up but paused. "Hey, what's up?" he asked.

"What? Nothing, nothing at all. Just lounging, ya know?" Klaus demonstrated by leaning back and raising an arm dramatically.

"You can't lie to me, Klaus," Ben said, leveling him with a look.

"It's nothing, I'm just tired. You know, people get tired."

"Look," Ben said. "I know it's easier for you to hide now that I'm not haunting you, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna let you wallow here all alone." He leaned back, getting comfortable like he was planning on sticking around.

"Oh, come on, Ben," Klaus said, throwing a pillow at him, trying to ignore the ghost screaming directly into his ear, hoping his voice wasn't too loud. "I'm fine, just go back outside. I'll meet you there to watch Diego and Five get way too into it and destroy the courtyard in a bit."

"Look, we need to talk," Ben said with a heavy sigh and Klaus couldn't help but flinch in anticipation. "You're shit at asking for help. And I know why, I get it, I really do, but I know your tells. I'm not letting you push me away too. Even if you don't want to talk, the least I can do is keep you company."

"You don't have to do that," Klaus said with a heavy sigh.

"I know, but I want to. You're my brother."

"That never stopped any of the others," Klaus said. He didn't sound bitter. And he wasn't, really, just sad. And tired.

"That's not fair," Ben said.

"Isn't it though? No, you're right, I'm sorry," Klaus said, backtracking immediately and feeling guilty he'd even let himself think that. "I'm not being fair at all. I didn't make it easy for any of them. I wouldn't let any of you help me. And there wasn't really anything anyone could have done anyway. But you still tried. Saved my life countless times. I've got a lot of catching up to do in the helping department."

"Okay, there's apparently a couple different conversations we need to have," Ben said seriously. "Yeah, you really didn't make it easy, but that still doesn't excuse how they treat you sometimes, and I know it's frustrating. But also, this isn't a competition, you don't have to make anything up to me. Besides, you've done just as much for me all these years."

"What are you talking about? I made your afterlife hell."

"Even high out of your mind you always made my comfort a priority, even in stupid ways like making sure I had a chair. Besides, why do you think I stuck around? I mean, sure, it hurt watching you kill yourself over and over, and sometimes you'd drove me crazy, still do, but I wanted to be here. With my family. You guys didn't abandon me and there is no way I was going to abandon you all."

"You should. We're not worth this. Especially not me."

"Shut up," Ben said, elbowing him gently. "You are. Especially to me."

"This family is fucked up," Klaus groaned. He dropped a hand on Ben's shoulder briefly. "Guess we're stuck with each other."

"Yup," Ben said, stretching out and resting his legs across Klaus' lap.

They eventually did go watch the sparring match. A couple injuries on the part of those dueling and a destroyed courtyard later, Klaus was feeling much better. Ben still wanted to be there with him, even when things were bad even though he didn't have to be anymore. Somehow just that knowledge seemed to help when the ghosts refused to leave. They both had a long way to go getting used to their new lives but at least they didn't have to do it alone.


End file.
